Sabbatical, The Easterbunny is Cumming, Babies that are celebrities AND Mormon

M: So...I guess there's either an apology or an explanation in order. We didn't abandon The Epyllionaires, we just took...umm...a sabbatical.
V: We had friends visit from Arkansas, Molly turned 26, what else happened?
M: Billy was in town, it's been hot, you've been tired from the hayride and the carpal tunnel.
V: Or tendonitits! That's what I'm pulling for. Also, I got a job from Muralarts, lost a job with Muralarts, got it, lost it, and said the hell with it.
M: I guess Faith Ringgold doesn't need your help after all.
V: Faith Ringgold is a blowhard. And she wouldn't be around anyway.
M: "Tar Beach" is really fucking overrated.

M: Anyway - Faith Ringgold opinions aside, we did get some questions in response to our ask us questions challenge. Caleb sent us nine questions which will make up three entries and which we will be answering in opposite order.

Top ten movie recommendations?
M: Ten a piece? Or ten between us?
V: I vote ten between us.
M: Is that ten that we agree upon, or five each?
V: I think we can agree on ten movie suggestions. Singin' In the Rain
M: Drop Dead Gorgeous
V: Clerks
M: Labyrinth
V: Just trying to think of something else we watch frequently. Not that we watch a lot of movies frequently.
M: 40 Year Old Virgin
V: OH! Fucking Heavyweights!
M: The Royal Tenenbaums
V: Waiting for Guffman and Best In Show are pretty much the same thing.
M: The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town
V: . . .
M: You're not going to argue that?
V: I don't know why you blacklisted Blue Velvet because that's pretty much the same movie as The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town.
M: The bunny doesn't have an oxygen tank. Or weird sexual fetishes.
V: Oh, I don't know about that. Sunny the Bunny? No sexual fetishes? He is the only overgrown hyper intelligent bipedal rabbit living in a place called "Kidville." He takes chicken eggs that he's painted in bright colors to a boy prince from Long Island who has a severe Oedipal complex. He also befriends random homeless drug addicts and moves in with them.
M: I guess that's just the way the Easter story should be told. The secular story, anyway. We need one more movie suggestion.
V: Howl's Moving Castle


If you could make up a job that you could happily do for the rest of your life what would it consist of?
V: Painting chicken eggs in bright colors and taking them to a little boy from New York who just wants a friend. And maybe someone to knock around his cock.
M: I think that's illegal.
V: Not if I make the police force fall on sticks of butter and give his aunt a flower.
M: Kidville doesn't really exist you realize.
V: I didn't say anything about Kidville. Anyway, you're the one who brought it up.
M: What would you really want to do?
V: I would be in the studio. I would get paid to spend time with you and be in the studio.
M: I think I'd want to get paid to read all day and be my own boss. I don't want someone else telling me what to read. I just want access to books and maybe I can get paid by the page or the chapter or something.
V: You would be very well paid if you were paid per chapter. Unless you were reading a Samuel Beckett novel.
M: Then I'd demand payment based on word count.

What consumer culture need to you most strongly support?
V: I guess I'm a sucker for music, but not in the consumer culture kind of way. Breakfast cereal?
M: Do you support breakfast cereal? I mean, you like it a whole lot, but do you really support it?
V: Oh, no. I just support my need for it. We're both supporting a movie habit as well.
M: And books. And Trivial Pursuit. We have a lot of both of those.
V: You read PerezHilton.com and you have a shiny new subscription to Entertainment Weekly.
M: And Celebrity_Babies.com. I like knowing what celebrities are doing. But I don't really know what to do with the information once I have it.
V: Omigod. Celebrity Baby Blog? I would have nightmares if I read Celebrity Baby Blog.
M: But how else would you know Brandon Flowers had a kid?
V: Isn't he going to have like 30 since he's Mormon?
M: And Celebrity Baby Blog will report on each and every birth of each and every Killer's Mormon babies.

July Tradition

The Epyllionaires apologize for their absence. The week prior to my birthday traditionally is filled with stress, drama, and extremely high heat indexes. This year is no exception. Briefly -

- Both of our places of employment are making it difficult to receive a paycheck. We are both working our asses off and neither of us has really gotten a paycheck for our summer work yet and summer is nearly half over.

- V's car is sick. It's leaking coolant and may possibly explode.

- The PC has some viruses. They make internetting difficult.

- We have been on edge (even with each other) and have been arguing about things like PC-ness and misogyny. Which, given the nature of the blog, has made posting awkward.

We are hoping that it will rain and things will calm down by . . . tomorrow.

We have 9 NINE!!!!! questions from Caleb to be answered post haste.

We will soon return you to your regularly scheduled Epyllionaires.

Challenge

The Epyllionaires tried to do questions today - but we have found that answering them at 3pm is much harder than answering them at 7 or 8 pm and therefore there are no questions tonight.

BUT

We are going to offer you a challenge / offer complete with thank you gift.

See, we've been around enough to know that there are people reading this and yet we've gotten a grand total of five people who have commented (Brian, Brad, Melissa, Rosalie, and that Portuguese guy.) We understand Internet trolling behavior. We do it ourselves. It's kind of nice to skulk around blogs and profiles without making yourself known. Kinda dirty, kinda spy-like, but mostly innocent and totally enjoyable. But it is getting increasingly difficult for us to come up with questions that we haven't answered before. Or that don't suck.

SO

For the month of July, if you send you a question, (and you don't mind supplying your land mailing address) we will send you an official, handmade, limited edition Epyllionaires magnet. (Keep in mind that Vincent is a working, showing at galleries, up and coming Philadelphia artist. Which may or may not add value to the magnet. Beyond, of course, the cost of its raw materials. Which we purchased on sale today at AC Moore.)

Send us 3 questions, enough for a whole post, (and your land mailing address) and we'll send the official magnet and an Epyllionaires photograph. (No, not of us, but of something lovely and quirky. Probably from either Christmas Village or the Glen Rock Faerie Festival. Unless you want a photo of us, then we can probably accommodate that.)

Send us 6 questions, enough for 2 posts, (and your land mailing address) and we'll give you all the above perks PLUS add you to our Christmas Card mailing list. (Unless you're already on our Christmas Card mailing list, then we'll have to negotiate for some other kind of thank you gift.)

Send us 9 questions, enough for 3 posts, we'll give you everything and figure out some way for you to guest answer questions with us (which would mean you would get your own font color ONLY to be used by you when you guest answer) ...unless you don't want to and then we'll just send you everything along with our eternal gratitude.

We are also considering creating Cafe Press options (mostly for our own selfish we want Epyllionaires t-shirts reasons and not because we're under any delusions that YOU would want them) but seeing as it's Cafe Press, you wouldn't really need to wait for us to do so. You could make 'em yourself. Regardless, we'll let you know once we've settled on some official designs.

That's all. We hope that makes up for no questions tonight and we hope this prompts you to ask us something.

P.S. DO NOT put your home address in the comment - we will supply an e-mail address where you can send it so that everybody doesn't have to see it. That would be bad.