M: Are we doing this thing or what? Are you just going to read Rotten Tomatoes top 10 Worst Reviewed movies?
V: "Watching Battlefield Earth is to movie watching what having a yeast infection is to sex." Oh man, that's horrible.
M: Ewww...yeast infections aren't the first thing I think of when I think of John Travolta, but they come in a close third, or fourth.
V: I'm reading reviews of "Half Past Dead" which is a prison escape movie staring Steven Seagal and Ja Rule. "When Seagal appeared in an orange prison jumpsuit, I wanted to stand up in the theater and shout, 'Hey Kool-Aid!'" That's horrible!
What do you do all the time in a car?
V: Drive?
M: I think this question wants to know what else you do in a car. Besides driving.
V: Listen to music?
M: You drum on your steering wheel. And you drink coffee.
V: YOU yell at every other car that - no. You yell at every other car.
M: Not EVERY other car. Just the ones that piss me off.
V: Usually you call them "Dude!" or "Fuck You!" You do this while on the phone with me.
M: You're not special in that regard. I tend to blur my phone conversations with my road rage. I spent a lot of time explaining, "Not you, I don't mean you should go fuck yourself."
V: Not your most charming trait, I must admit.
M: What is my most charming trait?
V: I think it depends on your audience. I rather like your eyes and the way you use them. Ooooo! Some people like your phone voice. Some people like your vast knowledge of literature.
M: Some people like my cooking.
V: Lots of people like your cooking. Myself included.
M: I don't cook in the car.
V: Thank Christ.
What's your ring tone?
M: Frank Black - the chorus to "If Your Poison Gets You." (I tried hard to find a clip of it. I failed. But I did find a Youtube clip of him singing "I Burn Today" which is my secondary ringtone.)
V: I also used to use "I Burn Today." Now my ring is something I made on my phone that I wanted to sound like a Lightning Bolt song:
Yeah. That pretty much sounds like my ringtone.
M: Except that it's lacking the godawful noise of it vibrating against the table.
V: Vbbb vbbb....vbbb vbbb
M: It's worse in the morning when you use it as an alarm clock.
V: Yeah, it plays like satanic Spanish music. I love that you capitalized Spanish and not satanic.
M: Satanic isn't a proper noun.
V: How come Jesus doesn't have an adjective? It should be like, "Jay-zeus-ian." Yeah. I think I'm going to use it in a sentence: "My cell phone wakes me up with like Jayzeusian Spanish music." Or would it be "Jesus-ian?"
M: Jayzeusian is more lyrical, but its inclusion of the word "Zeus" makes for a sticky denotation. We are not doing a good job of staying on topic tonight.
V: Zeus! Be-Zeus-is!
What happened at 10:00 am today?
V: Jesus, Jesus Zeus juice!
M: What?!
V: I said Zeus! I said Zeus caboose!
M: Didn't Bassem tell you that caboose means "nightmare" in Egyptian?
V: Not at 10 AM today he didn't. And, P.S. there is not such language as "Egypt-tian."
M: No?
V: I think they speak Jesus-ian. Or else Arabic.
M: Are you sure?
V: Dude, they speak Arabic. I'm being a jerk.
M: Dude, there is totally an Egyptian language.
V: Yeah, not since like 700 BC.
M: So? Maybe Bassem speaks Egyptian. I don't know. You don't know.
V: No, I know. Because he said, "Do you know what caboose means in Arabic?" Not motherfucking Egyptian. When they were speaking Egyptian our family lines weren't even like infant spermatozoa. We weren't even a thought. Egypt was like another planet at the time. What did you do at 10:00 today?
M: I was helping some motley kids do a "ramp lab." This consisted of groups of 3-4 kids making up a hypothesis about independent variables that could possible affect the speed in which a tennis ball rolls down a slope. One group changed the height of the slope. Another changed where they released the ball on the ramp. One group looked at temperature - they froze a tennis ball and dunked another in boiling water. My personal favorite, though, was the group that decided that the color of the ball would affect its speed.
V: Purple is pretty fast, you know.
M: What were you doing?
V: I was reading. In my studio.
M: What do you want to be doing twelve hours later, now, at 10 PM?
V: Getting REAL drunk and not worrying about going to bed. How 'bout you?
M: I kinda want to go to bed.
V: Is this like the 9th question? Do we have more questions?
M: Nope. This was the last one.
V: What was the first question?
M: What do you do in a car?
V: Read Jayzeusian Egyptian Zeus Juice Bottles. That should have been my answer. It would have saved us a lot of time and typing.
26 September 2007
25 September 2007
Come along with the Snorks, Olives = God, Fat Viking Love
M: Caleb asked these questions a couple of months ago. We're only getting to them now.
V: It's sorta like electing a president and then having to wait like four months for him to actually get in office.
M: Or, waiting two years for Giuliani to take over. Because we can't do anything to stop that train wreck from happening.
V: Except feed him bits of glass every day until election day. That's a horrible way to go.
M: I just don't want him to go to office. I don't want him to shit glass.
V: I don't mind him going to the office. The coroner's office.
M: Maybe you shouldn't make veiled death hopes towards presidential hopefuls.
If you had to design an ideal summer camp what would it look like?
V: It would look like the Snorks. Is that the right word or is it the Snorkles? No, it's the Snorks. Can we get a video on that?
V: It's sorta like electing a president and then having to wait like four months for him to actually get in office.
M: Or, waiting two years for Giuliani to take over. Because we can't do anything to stop that train wreck from happening.
V: Except feed him bits of glass every day until election day. That's a horrible way to go.
M: I just don't want him to go to office. I don't want him to shit glass.
V: I don't mind him going to the office. The coroner's office.
M: Maybe you shouldn't make veiled death hopes towards presidential hopefuls.
If you had to design an ideal summer camp what would it look like?
V: It would look like the Snorks. Is that the right word or is it the Snorkles? No, it's the Snorks. Can we get a video on that?
18 September 2007
Epyllionaires: They're Really Nice People
What Happened?
M: There's a heavy, awkward silence here about that.
V: We had a really big fight during Epyllionaires time and so we stopped doing Epyllionaires until we worked some things out.
M: Except that we worked things out a really long time ago, but were worried that blogging would cause problems.
V: Finally, we decided that the family that blogs together, belongs together.
M:Do the Duggars blog?
V: You tell me. You're the vicar of Duggar.
M: I don't think they have a computer, actually. Although they have a website. I think Daddy Duggar leaves the house to do his dirty internet business.
V: Man, can you imagine growing up fetishizing the internet because you don't have it at home but you know it exists and everybody's doing it? Shit. That's like way worse than drugs.
M: Or sex. Because at least with sex you've got some instinctual "tinglings" that give you a vague notion of what it feels like.
V: Dood. Duggars + Sexual Tinglings = Next Question.
What have you been doing since 16 July?
M: I had a slow August. I watched a lot of tv-links. Four seasons of "Cold Case" and a shit ton documentaries.
V: I feel like you could have done a Twelve Days of Christmas thing there. Like, 4 seasons Cold Case, 3 dwarf families, 2 Carnivales, and a shit ton of doc-u-ment-a-rare-ies. Documentaries now has twelve syllables.
M: We went to Providence. And we bought a wireless router. So now we can post from the bedroom/cold room.
V: Except when we had the luxury of existing in cold space and web space we were like, "Fuck doing shit! Let's watch crazy British documentaries about Aleister Crowley and . . . what's the word when people come back and do other things? Whatever, you know, shit like that. We were like, fuck doing shit anyway."
M: Punctuating that sentence was really difficult.
V: I'm sure it was horrible. That's why you type, though. If I typed, there would be no punctuation. Maybe a period thrown in randomly. And forget about capitols. My life and my speech is what we like to call a run-on-sentence and it's going to run on down to crazy town without the fences of comas you know, and exclamation points and stuff.
M: We thought the hamster died.
V: He was hot as balls!
M: He didn't die, he just had really enlarged testicles that he liked to air out by laying on his back like he was dead.
V: The hamster is like Swamp Thing or something.
M: Swamp Thing?
V: You know, like, he's all one with his environment and can't die and stuff and he's got really big nuts and that's kind of a good thing. If Mercutio ever met up with a lady hamster, hell hath no fury man.
M: . . .
V: Is that all we've done with July? It's like September 90th already.
M: I went to Erie with the folks, you started classes and made paintings.
V: That's right, Brian's car died.
M: I helped the Jahje prime her studio and Nick/Caleb/Toby/Miles moved into a new house.
V: You know, you always try to cram all that crap into the end of summer.
M: Ooooh!!! I remember something kick ass we did! We rode a wooden roller coaster in torrential rain and thunder and lightening! Not many people can say they've done that!
V: Yeah!!! And we saw Kevin Smith talk for fucking, like half a day. It was nuts. What a great summer.
What can we expect from The Epyllionaires in the future?
V: Let's say - should we say once a week?
M: No. Because that somehow implies to me that I'm only going to get to see you once a week. Fucking grad school.
V: Well, you see me every day but we may not have time to blog every day because it takes time, time that I could actually be rubbing your back or something instead of you typing.
M: There has to be a happy medium between once a week and every day.
V: Should we say every other day blogging, not on Saturdays that I go to New York?
M: I don't think we can make a set schedule.
V: No, nothing is fucking set. How about M-F? We know a few of those. They're really nice people.
M: . . .
V: Let's change our blog name to "Epyllionaires: M-F: They're Really Nice People but Secretly Just Epyllionaires."
M: But the M-F would be lying on all levels because you learn about Nazi art history on Monday nights.
V: Yeah, but, T-S doesn't have the same ring and maybe it can be for like when people read it and not when it's posted.
M: People can't read our blog on Saturdays and Sundays? Blogs have no Blue Laws.
V: How about "Shop Hours May Vary" or "By Appointment?"
M: Epyllionaires: They're Really Nice People: By Appointment
M: There's a heavy, awkward silence here about that.
V: We had a really big fight during Epyllionaires time and so we stopped doing Epyllionaires until we worked some things out.
M: Except that we worked things out a really long time ago, but were worried that blogging would cause problems.
V: Finally, we decided that the family that blogs together, belongs together.
M:Do the Duggars blog?
V: You tell me. You're the vicar of Duggar.
M: I don't think they have a computer, actually. Although they have a website. I think Daddy Duggar leaves the house to do his dirty internet business.
V: Man, can you imagine growing up fetishizing the internet because you don't have it at home but you know it exists and everybody's doing it? Shit. That's like way worse than drugs.
M: Or sex. Because at least with sex you've got some instinctual "tinglings" that give you a vague notion of what it feels like.
V: Dood. Duggars + Sexual Tinglings = Next Question.
What have you been doing since 16 July?
M: I had a slow August. I watched a lot of tv-links. Four seasons of "Cold Case" and a shit ton documentaries.
V: I feel like you could have done a Twelve Days of Christmas thing there. Like, 4 seasons Cold Case, 3 dwarf families, 2 Carnivales, and a shit ton of doc-u-ment-a-rare-ies. Documentaries now has twelve syllables.
M: We went to Providence. And we bought a wireless router. So now we can post from the bedroom/cold room.
V: Except when we had the luxury of existing in cold space and web space we were like, "Fuck doing shit! Let's watch crazy British documentaries about Aleister Crowley and . . . what's the word when people come back and do other things? Whatever, you know, shit like that. We were like, fuck doing shit anyway."
M: Punctuating that sentence was really difficult.
V: I'm sure it was horrible. That's why you type, though. If I typed, there would be no punctuation. Maybe a period thrown in randomly. And forget about capitols. My life and my speech is what we like to call a run-on-sentence and it's going to run on down to crazy town without the fences of comas you know, and exclamation points and stuff.
M: We thought the hamster died.
V: He was hot as balls!
M: He didn't die, he just had really enlarged testicles that he liked to air out by laying on his back like he was dead.
V: The hamster is like Swamp Thing or something.
M: Swamp Thing?
V: You know, like, he's all one with his environment and can't die and stuff and he's got really big nuts and that's kind of a good thing. If Mercutio ever met up with a lady hamster, hell hath no fury man.
M: . . .
V: Is that all we've done with July? It's like September 90th already.
M: I went to Erie with the folks, you started classes and made paintings.
V: That's right, Brian's car died.
M: I helped the Jahje prime her studio and Nick/Caleb/Toby/Miles moved into a new house.
V: You know, you always try to cram all that crap into the end of summer.
M: Ooooh!!! I remember something kick ass we did! We rode a wooden roller coaster in torrential rain and thunder and lightening! Not many people can say they've done that!
V: Yeah!!! And we saw Kevin Smith talk for fucking, like half a day. It was nuts. What a great summer.
What can we expect from The Epyllionaires in the future?
V: Let's say - should we say once a week?
M: No. Because that somehow implies to me that I'm only going to get to see you once a week. Fucking grad school.
V: Well, you see me every day but we may not have time to blog every day because it takes time, time that I could actually be rubbing your back or something instead of you typing.
M: There has to be a happy medium between once a week and every day.
V: Should we say every other day blogging, not on Saturdays that I go to New York?
M: I don't think we can make a set schedule.
V: No, nothing is fucking set. How about M-F? We know a few of those. They're really nice people.
M: . . .
V: Let's change our blog name to "Epyllionaires: M-F: They're Really Nice People but Secretly Just Epyllionaires."
M: But the M-F would be lying on all levels because you learn about Nazi art history on Monday nights.
V: Yeah, but, T-S doesn't have the same ring and maybe it can be for like when people read it and not when it's posted.
M: People can't read our blog on Saturdays and Sundays? Blogs have no Blue Laws.
V: How about "Shop Hours May Vary" or "By Appointment?"
M: Epyllionaires: They're Really Nice People: By Appointment
16 July 2007
Sabbatical, The Easterbunny is Cumming, Babies that are celebrities AND Mormon
M: So...I guess there's either an apology or an explanation in order. We didn't abandon The Epyllionaires, we just took...umm...a sabbatical.
V: We had friends visit from Arkansas, Molly turned 26, what else happened?
M: Billy was in town, it's been hot, you've been tired from the hayride and the carpal tunnel.
V: Or tendonitits! That's what I'm pulling for. Also, I got a job from Muralarts, lost a job with Muralarts, got it, lost it, and said the hell with it.
M: I guess Faith Ringgold doesn't need your help after all.
V: Faith Ringgold is a blowhard. And she wouldn't be around anyway.
M: "Tar Beach" is really fucking overrated.
M: Anyway - Faith Ringgold opinions aside, we did get some questions in response to our ask us questions challenge. Caleb sent us nine questions which will make up three entries and which we will be answering in opposite order.
Top ten movie recommendations?
M: Ten a piece? Or ten between us?
V: I vote ten between us.
M: Is that ten that we agree upon, or five each?
V: I think we can agree on ten movie suggestions. Singin' In the Rain
M: Drop Dead Gorgeous
V: Clerks
M: Labyrinth
V: Just trying to think of something else we watch frequently. Not that we watch a lot of movies frequently.
M: 40 Year Old Virgin
V: OH! Fucking Heavyweights!
M: The Royal Tenenbaums
V: Waiting for Guffman and Best In Show are pretty much the same thing.
M: The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town
V: . . .
M: You're not going to argue that?
V: I don't know why you blacklisted Blue Velvet because that's pretty much the same movie as The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town.
M: The bunny doesn't have an oxygen tank. Or weird sexual fetishes.
V: Oh, I don't know about that. Sunny the Bunny? No sexual fetishes? He is the only overgrown hyper intelligent bipedal rabbit living in a place called "Kidville." He takes chicken eggs that he's painted in bright colors to a boy prince from Long Island who has a severe Oedipal complex. He also befriends random homeless drug addicts and moves in with them.
M: I guess that's just the way the Easter story should be told. The secular story, anyway. We need one more movie suggestion.
V: Howl's Moving Castle
If you could make up a job that you could happily do for the rest of your life what would it consist of?
V: Painting chicken eggs in bright colors and taking them to a little boy from New York who just wants a friend. And maybe someone to knock around his cock.
M: I think that's illegal.
V: Not if I make the police force fall on sticks of butter and give his aunt a flower.
M: Kidville doesn't really exist you realize.
V: I didn't say anything about Kidville. Anyway, you're the one who brought it up.
M: What would you really want to do?
V: I would be in the studio. I would get paid to spend time with you and be in the studio.
M: I think I'd want to get paid to read all day and be my own boss. I don't want someone else telling me what to read. I just want access to books and maybe I can get paid by the page or the chapter or something.
V: You would be very well paid if you were paid per chapter. Unless you were reading a Samuel Beckett novel.
M: Then I'd demand payment based on word count.
What consumer culture need to you most strongly support?
V: I guess I'm a sucker for music, but not in the consumer culture kind of way. Breakfast cereal?
M: Do you support breakfast cereal? I mean, you like it a whole lot, but do you really support it?
V: Oh, no. I just support my need for it. We're both supporting a movie habit as well.
M: And books. And Trivial Pursuit. We have a lot of both of those.
V: You read PerezHilton.com and you have a shiny new subscription to Entertainment Weekly.
M: And Celebrity_Babies.com. I like knowing what celebrities are doing. But I don't really know what to do with the information once I have it.
V: Omigod. Celebrity Baby Blog? I would have nightmares if I read Celebrity Baby Blog.
M: But how else would you know Brandon Flowers had a kid?
V: Isn't he going to have like 30 since he's Mormon?
M: And Celebrity Baby Blog will report on each and every birth of each and every Killer's Mormon babies.
V: We had friends visit from Arkansas, Molly turned 26, what else happened?
M: Billy was in town, it's been hot, you've been tired from the hayride and the carpal tunnel.
V: Or tendonitits! That's what I'm pulling for. Also, I got a job from Muralarts, lost a job with Muralarts, got it, lost it, and said the hell with it.
M: I guess Faith Ringgold doesn't need your help after all.
V: Faith Ringgold is a blowhard. And she wouldn't be around anyway.
M: "Tar Beach" is really fucking overrated.
M: Anyway - Faith Ringgold opinions aside, we did get some questions in response to our ask us questions challenge. Caleb sent us nine questions which will make up three entries and which we will be answering in opposite order.
Top ten movie recommendations?
M: Ten a piece? Or ten between us?
V: I vote ten between us.
M: Is that ten that we agree upon, or five each?
V: I think we can agree on ten movie suggestions. Singin' In the Rain
M: Drop Dead Gorgeous
V: Clerks
M: Labyrinth
V: Just trying to think of something else we watch frequently. Not that we watch a lot of movies frequently.
M: 40 Year Old Virgin
V: OH! Fucking Heavyweights!
M: The Royal Tenenbaums
V: Waiting for Guffman and Best In Show are pretty much the same thing.
M: The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town
V: . . .
M: You're not going to argue that?
V: I don't know why you blacklisted Blue Velvet because that's pretty much the same movie as The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town.
M: The bunny doesn't have an oxygen tank. Or weird sexual fetishes.
V: Oh, I don't know about that. Sunny the Bunny? No sexual fetishes? He is the only overgrown hyper intelligent bipedal rabbit living in a place called "Kidville." He takes chicken eggs that he's painted in bright colors to a boy prince from Long Island who has a severe Oedipal complex. He also befriends random homeless drug addicts and moves in with them.
M: I guess that's just the way the Easter story should be told. The secular story, anyway. We need one more movie suggestion.
V: Howl's Moving Castle
If you could make up a job that you could happily do for the rest of your life what would it consist of?
V: Painting chicken eggs in bright colors and taking them to a little boy from New York who just wants a friend. And maybe someone to knock around his cock.
M: I think that's illegal.
V: Not if I make the police force fall on sticks of butter and give his aunt a flower.
M: Kidville doesn't really exist you realize.
V: I didn't say anything about Kidville. Anyway, you're the one who brought it up.
M: What would you really want to do?
V: I would be in the studio. I would get paid to spend time with you and be in the studio.
M: I think I'd want to get paid to read all day and be my own boss. I don't want someone else telling me what to read. I just want access to books and maybe I can get paid by the page or the chapter or something.
V: You would be very well paid if you were paid per chapter. Unless you were reading a Samuel Beckett novel.
M: Then I'd demand payment based on word count.
What consumer culture need to you most strongly support?
V: I guess I'm a sucker for music, but not in the consumer culture kind of way. Breakfast cereal?
M: Do you support breakfast cereal? I mean, you like it a whole lot, but do you really support it?
V: Oh, no. I just support my need for it. We're both supporting a movie habit as well.
M: And books. And Trivial Pursuit. We have a lot of both of those.
V: You read PerezHilton.com and you have a shiny new subscription to Entertainment Weekly.
M: And Celebrity_Babies.com. I like knowing what celebrities are doing. But I don't really know what to do with the information once I have it.
V: Omigod. Celebrity Baby Blog? I would have nightmares if I read Celebrity Baby Blog.
M: But how else would you know Brandon Flowers had a kid?
V: Isn't he going to have like 30 since he's Mormon?
M: And Celebrity Baby Blog will report on each and every birth of each and every Killer's Mormon babies.
10 July 2007
July Tradition
The Epyllionaires apologize for their absence. The week prior to my birthday traditionally is filled with stress, drama, and extremely high heat indexes. This year is no exception. Briefly -
- Both of our places of employment are making it difficult to receive a paycheck. We are both working our asses off and neither of us has really gotten a paycheck for our summer work yet and summer is nearly half over.
- V's car is sick. It's leaking coolant and may possibly explode.
- The PC has some viruses. They make internetting difficult.
- We have been on edge (even with each other) and have been arguing about things like PC-ness and misogyny. Which, given the nature of the blog, has made posting awkward.
We are hoping that it will rain and things will calm down by . . . tomorrow.
We have 9 NINE!!!!! questions from Caleb to be answered post haste.
We will soon return you to your regularly scheduled Epyllionaires.
- Both of our places of employment are making it difficult to receive a paycheck. We are both working our asses off and neither of us has really gotten a paycheck for our summer work yet and summer is nearly half over.
- V's car is sick. It's leaking coolant and may possibly explode.
- The PC has some viruses. They make internetting difficult.
- We have been on edge (even with each other) and have been arguing about things like PC-ness and misogyny. Which, given the nature of the blog, has made posting awkward.
We are hoping that it will rain and things will calm down by . . . tomorrow.
We have 9 NINE!!!!! questions from Caleb to be answered post haste.
We will soon return you to your regularly scheduled Epyllionaires.
01 July 2007
Challenge
The Epyllionaires tried to do questions today - but we have found that answering them at 3pm is much harder than answering them at 7 or 8 pm and therefore there are no questions tonight.
BUT
We are going to offer you a challenge / offer complete with thank you gift.
See, we've been around enough to know that there are people reading this and yet we've gotten a grand total of five people who have commented (Brian, Brad, Melissa, Rosalie, and that Portuguese guy.) We understand Internet trolling behavior. We do it ourselves. It's kind of nice to skulk around blogs and profiles without making yourself known. Kinda dirty, kinda spy-like, but mostly innocent and totally enjoyable. But it is getting increasingly difficult for us to come up with questions that we haven't answered before. Or that don't suck.
SO
For the month of July, if you send you a question, (and you don't mind supplying your land mailing address) we will send you an official, handmade, limited edition Epyllionaires magnet. (Keep in mind that Vincent is a working, showing at galleries, up and coming Philadelphia artist. Which may or may not add value to the magnet. Beyond, of course, the cost of its raw materials. Which we purchased on sale today at AC Moore.)
Send us 3 questions, enough for a whole post, (and your land mailing address) and we'll send the official magnet and an Epyllionaires photograph. (No, not of us, but of something lovely and quirky. Probably from either Christmas Village or the Glen Rock Faerie Festival. Unless you want a photo of us, then we can probably accommodate that.)
Send us 6 questions, enough for 2 posts, (and your land mailing address) and we'll give you all the above perks PLUS add you to our Christmas Card mailing list. (Unless you're already on our Christmas Card mailing list, then we'll have to negotiate for some other kind of thank you gift.)
Send us 9 questions, enough for 3 posts, we'll give you everything and figure out some way for you to guest answer questions with us (which would mean you would get your own font color ONLY to be used by you when you guest answer) ...unless you don't want to and then we'll just send you everything along with our eternal gratitude.
We are also considering creating Cafe Press options (mostly for our own selfish we want Epyllionaires t-shirts reasons and not because we're under any delusions that YOU would want them) but seeing as it's Cafe Press, you wouldn't really need to wait for us to do so. You could make 'em yourself. Regardless, we'll let you know once we've settled on some official designs.
That's all. We hope that makes up for no questions tonight and we hope this prompts you to ask us something.
P.S. DO NOT put your home address in the comment - we will supply an e-mail address where you can send it so that everybody doesn't have to see it. That would be bad.
BUT
We are going to offer you a challenge / offer complete with thank you gift.
See, we've been around enough to know that there are people reading this and yet we've gotten a grand total of five people who have commented (Brian, Brad, Melissa, Rosalie, and that Portuguese guy.) We understand Internet trolling behavior. We do it ourselves. It's kind of nice to skulk around blogs and profiles without making yourself known. Kinda dirty, kinda spy-like, but mostly innocent and totally enjoyable. But it is getting increasingly difficult for us to come up with questions that we haven't answered before. Or that don't suck.
SO
For the month of July, if you send you a question, (and you don't mind supplying your land mailing address) we will send you an official, handmade, limited edition Epyllionaires magnet. (Keep in mind that Vincent is a working, showing at galleries, up and coming Philadelphia artist. Which may or may not add value to the magnet. Beyond, of course, the cost of its raw materials. Which we purchased on sale today at AC Moore.)
Send us 3 questions, enough for a whole post, (and your land mailing address) and we'll send the official magnet and an Epyllionaires photograph. (No, not of us, but of something lovely and quirky. Probably from either Christmas Village or the Glen Rock Faerie Festival. Unless you want a photo of us, then we can probably accommodate that.)
Send us 6 questions, enough for 2 posts, (and your land mailing address) and we'll give you all the above perks PLUS add you to our Christmas Card mailing list. (Unless you're already on our Christmas Card mailing list, then we'll have to negotiate for some other kind of thank you gift.)
Send us 9 questions, enough for 3 posts, we'll give you everything and figure out some way for you to guest answer questions with us (which would mean you would get your own font color ONLY to be used by you when you guest answer) ...unless you don't want to and then we'll just send you everything along with our eternal gratitude.
We are also considering creating Cafe Press options (mostly for our own selfish we want Epyllionaires t-shirts reasons and not because we're under any delusions that YOU would want them) but seeing as it's Cafe Press, you wouldn't really need to wait for us to do so. You could make 'em yourself. Regardless, we'll let you know once we've settled on some official designs.
That's all. We hope that makes up for no questions tonight and we hope this prompts you to ask us something.
P.S. DO NOT put your home address in the comment - we will supply an e-mail address where you can send it so that everybody doesn't have to see it. That would be bad.
30 June 2007
Something the Epyllionaires don't recommend
Last night The Epyllionaires didn't write questions because they paid $20 (plus $11 for pretzel bites and a soda) to go see Michael Moore's "Sicko."
I kid you not - I cried through the entire thing. For two hours I sat in an overly trendy theater where I laughed a few times but mostly had my tears frozen to my face. Then Vincent and I went home, parked the car, and sat in the street for 40 minutes feeling like crap because of the country we live in. Phrases like, "I'm living my life the complete wrong way." and "Maybe you should look for a teaching job in Canada or London." and "Are we really that insignificant and meaningless?" were said over the 40 minutes and we ended up going to bed without eating dinner and barely talking to each other because we felt so shitty.
So - because of the way the movie made us feel and NOT because of the message or the politics - we do not recommend "Sicko" unless you've been feeling too happy lately and need something to burst your cloud.
I kid you not - I cried through the entire thing. For two hours I sat in an overly trendy theater where I laughed a few times but mostly had my tears frozen to my face. Then Vincent and I went home, parked the car, and sat in the street for 40 minutes feeling like crap because of the country we live in. Phrases like, "I'm living my life the complete wrong way." and "Maybe you should look for a teaching job in Canada or London." and "Are we really that insignificant and meaningless?" were said over the 40 minutes and we ended up going to bed without eating dinner and barely talking to each other because we felt so shitty.
So - because of the way the movie made us feel and NOT because of the message or the politics - we do not recommend "Sicko" unless you've been feeling too happy lately and need something to burst your cloud.
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