Epyllionaires: They're Really Nice People

What Happened?
M: There's a heavy, awkward silence here about that.
V: We had a really big fight during Epyllionaires time and so we stopped doing Epyllionaires until we worked some things out.
M: Except that we worked things out a really long time ago, but were worried that blogging would cause problems.
V: Finally, we decided that the family that blogs together, belongs together.
M:Do the Duggars blog?
V: You tell me. You're the vicar of Duggar.
M: I don't think they have a computer, actually. Although they have a website. I think Daddy Duggar leaves the house to do his dirty internet business.
V: Man, can you imagine growing up fetishizing the internet because you don't have it at home but you know it exists and everybody's doing it? Shit. That's like way worse than drugs.
M: Or sex. Because at least with sex you've got some instinctual "tinglings" that give you a vague notion of what it feels like.
V: Dood. Duggars + Sexual Tinglings = Next Question.


What have you been doing since 16 July?
M: I had a slow August. I watched a lot of tv-links. Four seasons of "Cold Case" and a shit ton documentaries.
V: I feel like you could have done a Twelve Days of Christmas thing there. Like, 4 seasons Cold Case, 3 dwarf families, 2 Carnivales, and a shit ton of doc-u-ment-a-rare-ies. Documentaries now has twelve syllables.
M: We went to Providence. And we bought a wireless router. So now we can post from the bedroom/cold room.
V: Except when we had the luxury of existing in cold space and web space we were like, "Fuck doing shit! Let's watch crazy British documentaries about Aleister Crowley and . . . what's the word when people come back and do other things? Whatever, you know, shit like that. We were like, fuck doing shit anyway."
M: Punctuating that sentence was really difficult.
V: I'm sure it was horrible. That's why you type, though. If I typed, there would be no punctuation. Maybe a period thrown in randomly. And forget about capitols. My life and my speech is what we like to call a run-on-sentence and it's going to run on down to crazy town without the fences of comas you know, and exclamation points and stuff.
M: We thought the hamster died.
V: He was hot as balls!
M: He didn't die, he just had really enlarged testicles that he liked to air out by laying on his back like he was dead.
V: The hamster is like Swamp Thing or something.
M: Swamp Thing?
V: You know, like, he's all one with his environment and can't die and stuff and he's got really big nuts and that's kind of a good thing. If Mercutio ever met up with a lady hamster, hell hath no fury man.
M: . . .
V: Is that all we've done with July? It's like September 90th already.
M: I went to Erie with the folks, you started classes and made paintings.
V: That's right, Brian's car died.
M: I helped the Jahje prime her studio and Nick/Caleb/Toby/Miles moved into a new house.
V: You know, you always try to cram all that crap into the end of summer.
M: Ooooh!!! I remember something kick ass we did! We rode a wooden roller coaster in torrential rain and thunder and lightening! Not many people can say they've done that!
V: Yeah!!! And we saw Kevin Smith talk for fucking, like half a day. It was nuts. What a great summer.

What can we expect from The Epyllionaires in the future?
V: Let's say - should we say once a week?
M: No. Because that somehow implies to me that I'm only going to get to see you once a week. Fucking grad school.
V: Well, you see me every day but we may not have time to blog every day because it takes time, time that I could actually be rubbing your back or something instead of you typing.
M: There has to be a happy medium between once a week and every day.
V: Should we say every other day blogging, not on Saturdays that I go to New York?
M: I don't think we can make a set schedule.
V: No, nothing is fucking set. How about M-F? We know a few of those. They're really nice people.
M: . . .
V: Let's change our blog name to "Epyllionaires: M-F: They're Really Nice People but Secretly Just Epyllionaires."
M: But the M-F would be lying on all levels because you learn about Nazi art history on Monday nights.
V: Yeah, but, T-S doesn't have the same ring and maybe it can be for like when people read it and not when it's posted.
M: People can't read our blog on Saturdays and Sundays? Blogs have no Blue Laws.
V: How about "Shop Hours May Vary" or "By Appointment?"
M: Epyllionaires: They're Really Nice People: By Appointment